Getting pregnant can be a very exciting thing and a very scary thing at the same time. That first reaction of elation of getting that positive reading on the pregnancy test can quickly turn into fear when the realization of becoming a parent sets in. The concerns of whether you are going to be a good parent, if you are doing the right things to ensure your baby will be healthy, what if there is something wrong with the baby, what about work, if you have a child already how will they react to the new baby? All these things either are or will race through your mind at one time or another during your pregnancy, not to worry though, you’re not the only one thinking these things, new and experienced mums all go through the same thought process. Here’s the low-down on some of these concerns broken up trimester by trimester and some hints for ways to put your mind at ease.

First Trimester Worries

Am I doing the right things to ensure my baby will be healthy?

In today’s world there are so many resources out there at our fingertips that it is easy to get overwhelmed with all the do’s and don’ts of pregnancy. If you go overboard and freak out anytime you’re not sure that you should be eating something or doing something, you are going to end up having a very stressful pregnancy. The best rule of thumb to follow to make sure that you are doing all the right things for you baby is to ask your doctor; they will most likely tell you to eat healthy making sure that you include all the important baby building foods like green leafy veggies, red meat, whole grain foods, and foods rich in calcium. They might also tell you to exercise, don’t go run a marathon, but make sure that you stay active; gaining too much weight during pregnancy can cause complications for your baby during and after delivery. Avoid the obvious dangers like chemicals, cigarettes, alcohol, and illicit drugs. And last but not least, keep up with your prenatal appointments, the only way to make that the precious life growing inside of you is doing well is to get regular checkups. Follow the same basic principals you would follow to keep yourself healthy, its better then wondering if the fumes from the nail salon you walked by were too strong, the outcome will be less stressful on you and your baby.

I don’t feel any real bond with my baby yet, I’m worried that this will continue after the baby is born.

Bonding with your baby while it is still in the womb is something that will happen over time for most women, it’s hard bond with anyone when you’ve got morning sickness morning, noon, and night. For most women it’s hard to overcome the fact that their body is all of a sudden a baby making factory and they can no longer indulge in some of the things they used to and because of that there can be a bit of resentment, even if it was a planned pregnancy. Not to worry though, once the morning sickness passes and you get to see your baby’s first picture on the ultrasound monitor or you feel those first noticeable movements; those feelings of unattachment or disappointment will disappear and be replaced with joy and reassurance, once that happens you will start to feel a bond grown between you and your little one. If you continue to feel unattached or unsure about your pregnancy talk to your doctor, this could be a sign of a serious problem. No matter what feelings you may start out with at the beginning of your pregnancy, forming a bond with your baby is something that will grow with time, there are a lot of things for you to think about and as long as you get to know your child, the bond between you two will grow.

I’m afraid that I will fall or something will happen causing me to miscarriage

This is a common concern for every pregnant woman, whether or not you have experienced a miscarriage before; the fear of loosing that precious life growing inside is a major concern. The odds of having a miscarriage are about 1 in 5, most of which happen due to chromosomal problems, in which the miscarriage occurs before you even know you are pregnant. Short of putting yourself in a bubble, your chances of preventing a miscarriage are the same as if you intentionally tried to cause one, which are slim. Experts say that the average vehicle accident or fall will not cause you to miscarriage; they also say that once you have been deemed officially pregnant you have an 80% chance of carrying the baby until term and by the time your baby is 10 weeks and doctors are able to detect a heartbeat that chance jumps to 98% to 99%.

Second Trimester Worries

I’m thinking about doing the triple screen test, but I am worried that the results will come back showing there is a problem.

The screening tests offered by your doctor can either ease your thinking that there might be something wrong with your baby, or they can bring in new worries for you to dwell on. Just because a test came back positive, it does not meant that your baby actually does have problem, the screening tests are not a definite answer, the chances of your baby actually having a disorder is about 1 in 100. If the test does come back positive there are other tests, like an Ultrasound, Amniocentesis, or a Chorionic Villus sample (CVS), which can be done in order to get a concrete diagnosis of a disorder. Many women think that if they do decided to go on with the further testing and the results come back showing that there is definitely a problem, that the only course of action is to terminate the pregnancy, which can be a very difficult decision due to the fact that you’ve already started forming a bond with your growing baby, but this is not always the case. The advanced testing only confirms that there is a problem; it does not determine the severity of the disorder. There are support groups out there that women can get connected with to help them deal with the diagnosis of the disorder and help get them prepared for what to expect when caring for a child with the certain disorder. Even if the first screening test comes back positive, there is a 97% chance that your baby will be born without any type of defect.

I’m worried, is my baby is developing properly, is my stress level affecting my baby, what if something goes wrong.

No matter if this is your first or fourth baby, every woman wonders if their child is growing properly, if all their organs are functioning right, are they getting the right nutrients for their little bodies. As a woman, you’re body was made to protect that precious life inside of you and whether you notice it or not, those maternal instincts that you seem to be missing, are already at work. Nature will take it’s course to ensure that your baby comes out healthy, but you need to do your part also to ensure that your body stays healthy, the only way you can do that is to make sure you follow your doctors instructions and avoid the bad things, like drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, if you do that then the odds are on your side that your pregnancy will turn out great! Don’t misunderstand, having some concerns is a good thing, it means that you will be a great parent, but having too many worries can create a lot of stress not only for you but for your baby as well. Being so worried about what could go wrong can often lead you to miss out of the little miracles that are happening everyday with your little one growing inside of you.

I feel so overwhelmed with trying to get things in order for the baby, I’m not even registered for a baby shower, and I’m not sure how I will ever get all the stuff I need to have by the time my baby gets here

Every pregnant woman goes through the need to make sure that everything is in order for their new baby, you want to make sure that the nursery is set up perfectly, that you have all the clothes you will need, plenty of diapers, and those baby checklists don’t always help ease your mind, sometimes they will have so many differences in the things that you need that it gets scary trying to think of where you will get all these things, one says 6 onesies another says 8, one suggests you get the new super duper diaper disposal while another one says that a regular trash can will serve just fine as a diaper disposal; it’s hard to determine which list you should follow, if you should even follow a list at all. Experts say not to let it get to you, because just when you think that you’ve achieved perfection, there is always something else that needs to be done before your baby arrives, just take one thing at a time and only do what you can when you can. If you want to ensure that you have what your baby need, stick to the basics, you’ll need a rear facing car seat that reclines, a safe and secure place for the baby to sleep, one or two layette sets, diapers, and of course feeding supplies (especially if you decided to formula feed rather than breastfeed); handy items like a baby tub, changing table, and diaper disposal are not crucial items to have right off the bat, you can get those later. There are other items that you don’t need right away like a high chair, a jogging stroller, and other items that can wait until your baby is older. Keep your mind at ease, you will get everything done in time, if all else fails, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I’m worried that having a new baby in the family is going to have a bad affect on my firstborn

Moms who are pregnant with their second child all worry about how their firstborn is going to react to the new baby. Introducing a new baby can be a rough thing for a younger child to go through, especially since they have been the sole focus of mom and dad’s attention, but not to worry, they will adjust, it might take a couple of months and they may experience some regression or jealousy, but if you reinforce the fact that they are going to be a big brother or sister before the new baby arrives and continue to reinforce that once the new baby gets here, they will feel more confidante in themselves and with their new position in the family. Don’t dwell on the negative factors that you think you are putting your first born through, think about the positive things that your child will experience, if they are not in school yet, they will be ahead of the game when it comes to building relationships with the other kids and they will have the pride in knowing that they are a older sibling.

Third Trimester Worries

I’m worried that once my baby gets here I won’t know what to and that I will be a bad mom.

Sure the idea of having a baby cry at all hours, feeding every 2 hours, changing diapers over and over again seems like an overwhelming task, but soon it will come so naturally to you, you’ll be able to do it with your eyes closed, well not literally, but close enough. Many new moms have this fear because they haven’t had any experience dealing with a newborn that they couldn’t “give back”, the third trimester is the perfect time to start honing your parenting skills and learning those techniques that will make you a super mom. One key thing to remember is don’t strive for perfection, it won’t happen, every child and mother is different, what works for one may not work for another, so don’t give up hope if the tried and true method that worked for your mother and grandmother doesn’t work for you. You want to make sure that you know the signs for when your baby is hungry or is not getting enough milk, what health issues are important to watch for in infants, and that the car seat you have is installed right, these are the important things to know to ensure that you are giving the best care you can to your baby.

I’m worried that I won’t get everything done at work, that no one will be able to do my job while I am gone, and that I won’t be able to plan my maternity leave

Moms who work have a lot on their minds already, besides the need to get everything done before their baby arrives. The thing you need to remember when getting ready to take maternity leave is to take care of yourself and your baby first and foremost, next you need to make sure that when you do take your maternity leave that everything is left in order for those who will take over your duties while you are gone, leave notes on how procedures are done, what the priorities are, what tools will be needed to complete a project, and that your co-workers and boss has a list of all there things; lastly you need to make sure that you have everything in order for when you return to work. When you start to plan your maternity leave, check with your company to see what their policy is; ask what is covered in the Family Medical Leave Act and your company’s medical coverage. Also don’t forget to have your spouse ask about his benefits and from his company, a lot of companies now days are allowing paternity leave. Make sure that before you take your leave that you and your boss have a clear understanding of how long you are going to be gone and what your availability status is. Don’t let your work make you feel guilty about wanting to spend time with your infant, this is a once in a lifetime chance you get at spending time with your child as an infant, don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of that.

I’m planning on returning to work, I’m worried that I won’t be able to find childcare for my baby

Child care can be a tricky thing; you want to make sure that the people you put in charge of the care of your infant are capable and knowledgeable. Before choosing a day care take the time to spend getting to know the caregiver(s), observe their daily operations, get your child into the day care before you have to go back to work, that way you know how you’re child will react and it gives them a chance to get into the flow of things at the caregivers; getting them into daycare before you make the transition back to work will also put your mind at ease, so you don’t spend your days worrying about how your baby is doing rather then concentrating on your work. While you and your baby are getting used to the daycare situation, don’t dive head first into it, start slow, try a couple of hours at first, maybe enough time for you to do some grocery shopping, then expand from there if they do well, next time add another 1 or 2 hours to the time they spend in daycare, and slowly work you way up to a full work day in daycare. Starting slowly will help your child ease into a new routine and help set your mind at ease knowing that your child will do fine in the care of someone else.

I want my child to be here so bad, but I am worried of what will happen during labor, what if I do something embarrassing?

Going into labor can be a nerve racking thing, we’ve all heard the horror stories of women having extreme pain, and it’s no lie that giving birth does hurt; but when you stop to think about it, it’s just one day out of your life that last for a short time, and ends with great joy. If you can’t handle the pain don’t be afraid to ask for pain medication, no one is going to look down on you because you didn’t have a totally natural childbirth. The fear of doing something embarrassing is something you shouldn’t fret about, it may be embarrassing to you, but while you are in the throes of labor your focus is on pushing your baby out you’re not even going to notice if you had a bowel movement, and the nurses are trained to quickly and discreetly deal with situations like that, and they are not going to tell anyone. If you’re worried that you won’t have the dream delivery you’ve always thought of don’t be, not all deliveries are the same as long as you and your doctor have an understanding of what you hope your delivery to be like you are in good shape, don’t forget to create a birth plan, it will help you and your doctor remember what kind of experience you want it to be, just remember to be flexible, not everything can always go according to plan, so make sure that you keep an open mind for changed should anything serious arise during your delivery. Lastly, remember that giving birth is a joy; it’s not a horror story, if it were people would not do it more than once.